Au revoir

For few months, I plan to "cut onions"... :D

a change that was brought by chettan,Farhan and myself....

I ll be back... and wait for me guys... wait for me..

its 26....

I feel complete right now...
why ?
....
....
....
Chettan.

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Made lunch for four people. Chettan tasted the food and said : " Da, now you are ready for marriage "...

yesssss...........................

The lunch was a huge success... Proff at munich -- are you ready for a challenge ?

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I know that after ten years chettan and me might be in rival political camps....
Lets see who blinks first...

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Reading NO LOGO - its a beautiful book... one book which makes me to think..
I have to think how I can market a product to Gen X.. who want to be "kewl" all the time..

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I am 26. But I feel like 21....

Priorities this year:
1) My job
2) My body -- have to pump lot of iron.. have to put weight.
3) My hobbies -- have to learn guitar; weild a camera; read ...
4) My soul -- redefine my value system... (well not completely... a little bit here and there - Chettan's impact)..

Europe....

Beautiful Autumn leaves, the italian political scientist, people like Ludwig-Remie,Dinil Mon and the pakistani doctor(no..not AQ zawahiri... :P), early morning rains, a walk in that early morning rain, sexy weather, great professors, River Rhone, the sight of the Bridge across river Rhone at Night, Hot French women,poetic French Romance -- Merci for everything in my life....

Just wondering how can I love the crowded Matunga at Bombay with all its colours, contrasts and the Beautiful Europe at the same time in life...
How can I love and be cynical at same time ?
How can I have all the fun while travelling and still want to quit it, come back and study consumer behaviour like a mad guy ?
why is my life full of contradictions ?... and im still enjoying that :D...


why is that when I compose my own symphony I dont allow anyone else to take a look into that ?...
when I sing my song, I refuse
-- to reveal what I think..
-- things like group synergy while travelling..
-- terms like college bonding with some XYZ at other places in Europe.. I dont miss anyone...

I knew when the plane touched the charles-De-Gaull airport... that I am going to LIVE my Life here...
Well I do live ...


what I miss includes
-- an Ipod :(
-- jogging.. I want to but I couldnt find any time :(...

p.s. Couldnt post this for the past 2 days inspite of writing the post... ha curse the internet :(...

stairway to heaven...

I want to blog now... too many things in my mind and I just do not have any time to blog... now is it a good sign in my life ?

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Last evening in this place.... for the next three months... I am damn excited about the vacation and I am damn pissed off as I just started my journey of targeting a FMCG... have to work..have to enjoy...

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what I plan to say in France (obviously to young gals)..
" Pardon me madam.. I come from India... I do not know French.. anyway this is what I want to tell you.. I am 25 years old... and I am still a virgin.. do you want to help me out :P "

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song of the moment: Led zeppelin: "stairway to heaven"..... suits my mood and suits the occasion.

Au revoir.... Time to make this blog a photo blog for coming few months...atleast I hope so...

dead blog...?

I dont feel like blogging....
so many changes have happened in the past two weeks... and still when I sit to blog...I just ask this question.."whats the point in telling them about it ?... does it matter ?.."....
and yeah... so I am not writing anything here.....
In one word, its just that I became a "dangerous" guy..

addiction...

was speaking with a junior of mine..
an IITian..
He blogs..
and he has a good blog too...
He said blogging is an addiction..
and I hate getting addicted to something in life..
and I want to see whether I can stop blogging for a month..
I stop now...

Dream trip..

My dream trip has been finalised.
Exploring India in Train,bus,Lorry,Plane,Bullock cart (feel free to add whatever you want).

Guess who will be my partner in this trip which is scheduled in March? AMP ..

The guy whom I would have married if I were a gal( even He says YES to that proposal:P)

I can't wait for March... and I m looking forward to it more than my Europe trip( other than sandeep's place, I am not too excited to see lifeless buildings with "cultured" people in them... I would rather prefer "colorful" and "vibrant" India...)

I am game, AMP...

Free market

I was a "free-market takes care of all" before coming here. Now after reading developmental economics, I believe that neo-classical approach doesn't make any sense...
Neo-classical approach says that Humans are essentially selfish and hence supply-demand are essential way of getting things done....
I don't have any problems in saying that Humans are essentially selfish and this is precisely why I believe government intervention is needed..
Because if government doesn't intervene, the siblings and progeny of Howard Roarks of the world may rule corporations inspite of being inefficient ( I can quote many examples of incompetent CEOs who reached that position by the virtue of their background...)
I don't want my children to succeed me because they are my children..
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I am an idiot.. but only for one more month.. when I leave this place to the land of Merci, I guess I would buried my "past"... its an albatross around my neck..
why am I not selfish ? I am happy that my ego is intact... but still I can sense my weakness.... Hmm....
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perfection is not perfect..

why KJ is not the greatest singer ? Because he is a perfect guy.
He is like australian cricket team. He is consistent. He is dominating. He can't make mistakes.
But Is music about perfection and nothing else ? what about "life" in song like "Rasathi onna" sung by Jayachandran? what about the pathos aroused by voice of Ilayaraja? There are few songs which KJ can never touch because it can spoil the life in those songs...
Philosophically, making mistakes leads to new innovations and evolutions...

P.s.:
1) Does this post make any sense?
2) what am I ? Am I perfectionist ?
3) whatever be the case I don't want a perfect girl...

rationality

Few decisions have to be taken by using your heart...
and I did it today.
I argued (without any rationality) with two of my friends here.. and then I challenged them on certain grounds...
I said I am going to continue with traditions (though it might be silly) because I don't want my seniors or juniors to blame me for discontinuing something... I will do it even if I find it irrational...
I am not sure whether it is a dangerous trend or not..
I am not sure whether it is right or not...
I am just observing this as a fact...
and I guess I haven't changed in the past 4 years..

Team..

I don't like rajni movies... I know that he is not a good actor... but still I have the task of promoting his movies in the college :(...
I am planning to get crackers, camphor, coconut and get dressed in Dhoti and give an ethnic look to the whole tamasha of screening his latest flick. Though people think that we are mad, my team wants me to do this....
and I m doing this because its a long time since I did something for some team....
I don't believe in something but the position I occupy forces me to do that....
Is it a precursor for big decisions in my life ?

july 29th

my passport to a
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- a gr8 friendship
- a new culture
- many friends
- crush
- movies
- music
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- brand IIT
- freedom to do whatever i want in life
- Ayn rand
- Btechs
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Heres a toast to the IITian in me...
cheers...

Good will hunting

Good will Hunting is one of my favorite movies.. Happened to see it once again, few days back..
This is my favorite dialouge from the movie.

Robin williams to Matt damon:

So if I asked you about art you could
give me the skinny on every art book
ever written... Michelangelo? You
know a lot about him I bet. Life's
work, criticisms, political
aspirations. But you couldn't tell
me what it smells like in the Sistine
Chapel. You've never stood there and
looked up at that beautiful ceiling.
And if I asked you about women I'm
sure you could give me a syllabus of
your personal favorites, and maybe
you've been laid a few times too.
But you couldn't tell me how it feels
to wake up next to a woman and be
truly happy. If I asked you about
war you could refer me to a bevy of
fictional and non-fictional material,
but you've never been in one. You've
never held your best friend's head
in your lap and watched him draw his
last breath, looking to you for help.
And if I asked you about love I'd
get a sonnet, but you've never looked
at a woman and been truly vulnerable.
Known that someone could kill you
with a look. That someone could rescue
you from grief. That God had put an
angel on Earth just for you. And
you wouldn't know how it felt to be
her angel. To have the love be there
for her forever. Through anything,
through cancer. You wouldn't know
about sleeping sitting up in a
hospital room for two months holding
her hand and not leaving because the
doctors could see in your eyes that
the term "visiting hours" didn't
apply to you. And you wouldn't know
about real loss, because that only
occurs when you lose something you
love more than yourself, and you've
never dared to love anything that
much. I look at you and I don't see
an intelligent confident man, I don't
see a peer, and I don't see my equal.
I see a boy. Nobody could possibly
understand you, right Will? Yet you
presume to know so much about me
because of a painting you saw. You
must know everything about me. You're
an orphan, right?


This reminds me of my life...
Matt Damon to a Harvard guy:

The sad thing is, in about 50 years
you might start doin' some thinkin'
on your own and by then you'll realize
there are only two certainties in
life.

CLARK
Yeah? What're those?

WILL
One, don't do that. Two -- you
dropped a hundred and fifty grand on
an education you coulda' picked up
for a dollar fifty in late charges
at the Public Library.

what i want to say...

things are rosy at my end..
all the subjects are interesting...
I love this place..
I am busy thinking about my career...
I love music..
I read books..
I live my life..
I can stay away from this blog...
I dont think about her..

What I dont say.....

I am depressed..
The subjects suck.. The proffs suck more..
I hate this place...
I think about my career.. get jitters and end of the day, I dont do anything about it...
I stopped liking music...
I dont read these days...
I coudnt stay away from cribbing and this blog..
I do think about her :(....

p.s: Right now what I need is a guide who can help me out in my career and personal life....
Missing IIT days,the wonderful proffs we had, my guide :((..
I need a job.. I want to move out of this place and start earning.. I am sure I m not getting any value addition right now....

failure and success

Failures are stepping stones to failures
Success is stepping stone to success....

Eureka !!! ( I got enlightened when I was taking Bath :D)

P.s: I guess I will take a break from blog world for a short time so that I can return to sanity.....

patterns

I see only patterns in my life.. even in mathematics.. for some it is a science.. but for me Maths is an art.. the art of intuition.
Four years ago I was in similar state of mind and things are beginning to shape up in the same way.
Went to meet the proff regarding my dissert and he said in plain english words.." prepare an abstract and send it to me in seven days.. Lets then discuss about the milestones"..
Now If Someone asks me to prepare an abstract in computer science, I will take seven days .. Here I am supposed to prepare an abstract in sales and distribution about which I do not know anything... But then this is what the post is all about.. the patterns...... I will crib that I have finance exams in next week; I will crib that I do not know anything in sales and distribution; I will crib that how am i supposed to search for a problem in it without knowing anything in it..... Finally I will go ahead and do all of the above..... because I know that its coming..... the urge to taste my sweat,flesh and blood and come up with a dissert ....

p.s. After a long time I feel that I have written a positive post... because I feel it.. I feel it when I jog; and I dont feel anything else... its the only thing in my mind right now.... the PSYCHO is BACK....

as time flies by...

Was jolted by the pain ..pain of a relationship.... pain that I cried... came back and played in my mind....
Best part: I am taking time to recover...proves that I am not shallow..
Worst part: I am taking time to recover...proves that I am not tough..
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I finally can feel, see, hear the voices in my head... The fear of failure is back... I m shifting my Gears... Two more months; seven subjects; seven projects; seven presentations; one dissertation; It looks daunting but there is only one thing that I can do... "I can't afford to waste my time"... thats it.... I need a FMCG. I have decided that I m going to sell soaps to rural women in Jharkhand.
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Was formally admitted to "kairali" in the college. :D.. After all how many people can enjoy a padmarajan movie ?
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The only problem is that I want to win in everything.... Its has been a long time since I proved myself that I am good...
After a long time someone asked my grade point and the usual incident happened. I want people to take me seriously....
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Song of the moment: " Loosu Penne" From vallavan... Tam/Mallu Readers please hear the song...

clear skies

you passed on your hugs to me via a gal whom I liked... and I had asked you not to give me a hug...
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I resolved not to speak with any gal continuously for fifteen minutes atleast for the next two months....
An incident at college two days back triggered that resolution...
Gals -- are definitely a weaker sex... atleast the ones I have met till now in my life (with rare exceptions)....
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These are the best days of my life.. Finally I found my short term destination......
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It kind of feels funny when someone forces me to have a drink. I have crossed thousands of people who have forced me to have a drink... and I don't even give explanations these days.. just a "No" and a "wtf" smile....

Monsoons....

What would I love to do in monsoons..

-> Sit near the window with hot cup of tea and watch the rains...
-> Travel in a bus which plays Ilayaraja song
-> just walk in the rain until I feel the raw energy of my IIT days
-> Think about the cyclones of Bay of Bengal and the holidays which we used to get until the cyclone crosses the shore
-> Read a Finance book...
-> Eat something spicy...
-> Talk/Blog some nonsense

Now I have done all of the above...The only one left is...

-> Make love to my gal :P ( In another two years, this wish would be satisfied :D)

vacation..

Back from a vacation ...
I didnt miss anything and I didnt feel sad when it was time to say Good bye.
I realised that this vacation taught me a lot of things.... More about it when I have time to blog.
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Leo took me to a tea-stall near a slum in besant nagar beach and gave his Job treat by getting me a tea. I suggested him CCD or Barista :D...
but then obvious things were not spoken; things which are uncomfortable to me were not discussed :).... and I am happy that he is happy with his job
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Chennai rocks....
TCS recruited 1006 people from Anna university.. Guess its an indian record
IT Highway is really beautiful
The MTC/Pallavan buses are colorful.
The dark skinned gals and besant nagar beach (which one i like more) :D
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Have to blog about the best moments of the vacation and about the ideal gal for me.... and I really do not know how I am going to find energy and time for it in the coming days.....